WHAT DO YOU THINK? An interesting Activity for Families to Bond.

Rules of Engagement: Creating a Safe Space for Honest Conversation

Before you begin, agree as a family to follow these simple rules. This isn’t about winning an argument; it’s about winning each other’s hearts. The goal is to build understanding and connection, not to assign blame.

• Pray First: Start with a short prayer, like the one from Psalm 139: “Lord, search our hearts. Help us to see each other the way You do. Give us grace to listen and love. Amen.”
• Listen to Understand, Not to Reply: The person speaking gets to finish their thought without being interrupted. Your first job is to hear them, not to prepare your defense.
• Assume the Best: Believe that the person speaking loves you and wants the best for the family, even if their words are clumsy. Look for the heart behind the words.
• Use “I Feel” Statements: Instead of saying, “You always…” (which sounds like an attack), try saying, “I feel…” For example, instead of “You never help,” try “I feel overwhelmed and could use some help.”
• It’s a “No-Shame Zone”: Everyone must be brave enough to be honest, and everyone else must be gracious enough to receive it without judgment, sarcasm, or punishment.

 

20 Family Discussion Questions: “What Do You Think?”

These questions are designed to be asked in any direction—spouse to spouse, parent to child, or child to parent. Take turns asking and answering one or two questions during a calm moment, like after dinner or on a weekend drive.

On Our Thoughts & Assumptions

(Based on “Change My Thoughts and Attitudes”)

1. What’s one wrong assumption you think I sometimes make about you or your day?
2. When I’m quiet, what do you assume I’m thinking about?
3. What does “a successful day” look like from your perspective?
4. In your opinion, what is one thing our family sometimes worries about that we should give to God?
5. What do you think is my biggest hope for you?

On Our Feelings

(Based on “Change My Feelings”)

1. What is one small thing that makes you feel truly loved and seen by me?
2. When do you feel the most peaceful and happy in our home?
3. What is something that makes you feel unheard or misunderstood?
4. Can you describe a time this week when you felt proud to be part of our family?
5. What helps you feel close to God?

On Our Behaviors

(Based on “Change My Behavior”)

1. What is one practical way I could show you I’m on your team this week?
2. If you could have my help with one task without having to ask, what would it be?
3. What does “respect” look like to you in action?
4. What is one family routine you wish we did more consistently? (e.g., eating together, praying before bed)
5. How can I better show you I’m sorry when I’ve made a mistake?

On Our Words

(Based on “Change My Words”)

1. What words from me make you feel strong and encouraged?
2. What tone of voice helps you listen best, especially during a disagreement?
3. Is there a word or phrase I use too often that you find discouraging?
4. How can we get better at celebrating each other’s successes with our words?
5. What is one thing you would love to hear me pray for you out loud?

 

3 Five-Minute Family Activities to Implement the Lesson

Here are three simple, quick activities to turn these ideas into habits.

The “Words of Life” Jar

• Goal: To practice the “Change My Words” principle from Proverbs 18:21.
• How it Works:

1. Place an empty jar and a small notepad in a central place, like the kitchen counter.
2. Throughout the week, whenever a family member does or says something kind, encouraging, or helpful, anyone can write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. (e.g., “Dad helped me with my homework without getting frustrated,” or “Mom prayed for me this morning.”)
3. Once a week (like on Sunday evening), empty the jar and read the slips aloud. It’s a powerful, 5-minute way to celebrate the good and reinforce life-giving words and actions.

The “One Thing” Swap

• Goal: To actively apply “Change My Thoughts” and “Change My Behavior.”
• How it Works:

1. At the beginning of the day or week, each person privately identifies one negative thought they often have about the family or a family member (e.g., “No one ever helps me clean up.”).
2. They then decide on one positive action they will do instead of dwelling on that thought. For the thought “No one ever helps,” the action could be, “I will cheerfully ask one person for help with one specific task.” For the thought “My dad is always stressed,” the action could be, “I will ask my dad one positive question about his day.”
3. At the end of the day, spend 5 minutes sharing. Don’t share the negative thought, just the positive action you took. (e.g., “Today, I asked for help with the dishes, and it was great!” or “I asked Dad what the best part of his day was.”) This retrains the brain from complaining to acting.

The “Change Me” Prayer Huddle

• Goal: To practice the core prayer of the lesson, “Lord, change me”
• How it Works:

1. Gather in a circle for just a few minutes before bed or before everyone leaves for the day.
2. Go around the circle, and each person finishes this simple sentence: “Lord, today please change my…”(e.g., “…my impatient attitude,” “…my selfish feelings,” “…my sharp words,” “…my lazy behavior.”)
3. It’s not about confessing to each other, but about declaring your need for God together. It builds humility and empathy. End with a group prayer, thanking God that He is the one who changes hearts.